Find What You Love

In 2013 I hit PR’s in the big 3 lifts, I squatted 405, benched 235 and deadlifted 450 all at a bodyweight of 185ish. Fast forward to 2016 and I currently weigh 185ish, squat under 405, deadlift around 450 and bench under 235.

Sounds odd that over the course of 3 years I literally didn’t improve any of my numbers, even while lifting in a top notch collegiate weight room and having tons of time on my hands.

Well over the course of those 3 years, I experimented with a lot of different styles and programs. I definitely enjoyed everything that I tried and will say my work capacity has risen. I am a better and fitter lifter overall but my numbers have not gone up.


Reflecting back as we head into 2017, one big thing stands out to me: I was scared

One of the biggest bullshit mindsets I have ever heard is FOMO or fear of missing out. In 2013 I was driven to get as strong as I possibly could. Fuck looking good, fuck getting huge, I was 100% focused on getting strong. FOMO should be changed to FOBGAS…Fear Of Becoming Great At Something

Post 2013 Moc pretends he got bored but really just became a giant bitch and wanted what everyone else deemed good or cool. I let myself become distracted by things that were not aligned with my desires.

I became scared of really pushing myself, I got to a “good” point and masked the fear with “I want to try other things” Rather than pursue greatness, I settled with good enough.

I do not want to go as far as to say I wasted the past 3 years because I did learn some valuable lessons. But I did miss a huge opportunity to pursue what I am all about..STRENGTH

I am a firm believer that strength is the answer to most problems in life. I am not talking specifically about physical strength, although physicality helps. I am talking about the strength of mind that lifting weights forges. The ability to push yourself and find your limits. The struggles and triumphs involved carry over into every area of life.


I am dedicating the year 2017 to becoming the strongest version of myself both physically and mentally. I can’t make up 4 years worth of strength in one year but I sure am going to try. I am going to take on new challenges and breakdown the fake limits I created for myself.

“Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.” – Charles Bukowski (some controversy over whether he actually said this or not but the idea applies)

For the record I do not think everyone needs to purse numbers in the weight room or the kind of physical strength I mentioned above. The point is to find the thing you truly want. Want to look really good? Dedicate yourself to it…Want to become more athletic? Dedicate yourself to it….Being a jack of all trades will leave you average across the board. Don’t look to others, you know what you want.

All the answers are inside of you, take time, discover them and then pursue the shit out of them.

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One comment

  1. […] previously wrote about my lack of improvement in strength over the past 4 years. Not only did this piss me off, […]


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